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Characters' diaries from Silent Hill: Homecoming
Official US Site. |
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August 2
It’s hot here. Sweltering. I can barely
breathe. But I guess that’s the point. War is hell, right?
Why am I writing this? Some of the guys said it would be good for me to
communicate with the outside world. Keeps up your morale and improves
mental health. Sir, yes, sir. Besides, what else am I gonna do with my
free time? Write home?
Unfortunately, I can’t tell you where I am. And I can’t tell you what
I’m doing here either. All I can tell you is my name. PFC Alex Shepherd.
And all you need to know is I’m a million miles from home in the middle
of the nowhere, with thousands of people trying to kill me every day.
So how did I get here? Well, I guess I should probably explain.
August 4
Went on patrol today. That’s pretty much what we do every day. I’d give
you the details but a) I’d get court-martialed and b) it’s not that
interesting. It’s mostly driving around, keeping your eyes open, looking
for bad guys. Most of the time, nothing happens. If something does, I’ll
let you know.
I said I’d tell you how I got here. I guess there are a lot of reasons.
They’re pretty much the same as everybody else’s. Small town, not many
choices. Military dad, military son. I’ll get to him later. Don’t have
energy right now.
But I guess the main reason I joined up was I wanted to make a
difference, do some good. I know it sounds cheesy, but who knows? Maybe
I’ll learn something about myself.
I’m not trying to be a bad ass or a hero or anything, I just want to do
something that matters.
August 5
Today it was so hot I thought my skin was gonna melt right off my body.
Our tents have A/C but the cool air never stays in. Still, when you go
inside any of the mobile CPs, you stay there as long as you can whether
you have any business there or not. It feels good.
I used to love the heat. In the summertime my brother and I would spend
every second we could at the beach. Our town is on a lake and there were
always tourists coming into town to go fishing or boating or whatever.
When I was in high school, I would sometimes work at the docks filling
gas to make some money. The girls who came there on vacation... Don’t
even get me started talking about girls while I’m stuck out here.
Damn, I just got really homesick for a second thinking about summertime.
My last summer there, I hung out with my friend Elle pretty much
everyday. I could probably write five pages just about her. Just about
the coolest chick in the world. We were friends all through high school
up until I left, but I haven’t really been in touch with her since. I
haven’t really been in touch with anyone.
I guess that’s kind of the point. One of the reasons I left. Things
weren’t always so great back there. They weren’t always like the
summertime. In fact, most of the time, things sucked.
August 6
We took a patrol through a town about 50 miles from here today. It was
like a ghost town. A storm blew through and you could barely see twenty
feet in front of your face. Every once in a while some villagers would
appear and we would train our weapons on them. They wouldn’t even react.
They would just walk right by us as if we weren’t even there. It was
spooky. I was glad as hell when we got out of there.
That was the first time I ever really felt afraid here. I felt like
there was something waiting for me around every corner. I felt
vulnerable. The only thing that kept me going was the mission. I’m just
glad to be back in my tent now.
My dad would have called me weak. He spent fifteen years in the
military. Yeah, nothing to live up to there, huh? He tried to groom me
to be a soldier for a while, but he pretty much gave up on that after my
brother was born. I think it surprised the hell out of him when I
enlisted. He probably didn’t think I could do it.
Well, here I am.
August 8
There’s a local kid here who comes by everyday trying to sell stuff.
When he first showed up, the MPs were nervous and searched him to make
sure he wasn’t carrying bombs. But after two days he became everybody’s
best friend. He’s got this huge smile and he just charms everybody. He
reminds me of my brother Joshua. Everybody loves Joshua. Even when he
does something wrong, he never gets in trouble. He just smiles that big
smile and gets himself out of it.
I remember the day he was born how happy my parents were. It was almost
like relief. Joshua’s ten years younger than and I think they were
trying to have another kid the entire time so I think they were just
glad he was healthy. They pretty much spoiled him from that day on. I
didn’t mind it at first, because he and I get along great. But they
basically wrote me off after he showed up. Even now, I haven’t received
a single letter from them since I left. I don’t bother with mail call.
Back in high school, I knew I had to get out of town. That’s something I
could never really talk to Elle about. Both our families have been there
for generations (get it Shepherd’s Glen? I know, don’t remind me how
much it sucks to have the town named after some great-great grandfather
of yours) so it’s not an easy thing to discuss. But Elle never really
felt that pressure to live up to her family name. She was independent,
she did her own thing. No one told her how to live. I loved that. When I
left, everything was just so chaotic that I never even got the chance to
say goodbye. But I’ve been gone so long now. I don’t even know if she’d
remember me.
August 9
I saw a guy’s legs get blown off today. He was walking patrol alongside
an APC when an anti-personnel mine when off on the side of the road. The
top half of his body did a back flip and landed right in front of me.
Without thinking, I wrapped a tourniquet around each bloody stump and
began to give him CPR. I was at it for an hour before the medics showed
up. Then I went around the corner and threw up for twenty minutes.
August 10
I grew up in a small town. I left because I wanted to make a difference
and the people around me were too blind to see that I could. I don't
care if I ever go back there, but I'd like the people I do care about to
know that in a bad situation I did everything I could to make it better.
I'd want them to be proud of me.
We're going on a mission tonight. No patrols, no guard duty, a real
mission. Militias have taken control of a nearby town and we're going in
to clear them out and liberate the civilians living there. We're
trained, we're ready, and this is the reason we're here.
August 22
I know it's been a while since my last post. I've been asking them to
let me get to a computer, but they kept saying I was too weak.
I guess it's kind of obvious I'm not in the field anymore. The last time
I wrote, we were just about to deploy in a small town to dislodge the
militias that had taken control. It sounded like a good idea.
The town was quiet when we entered it. That already made us suspicious.
We were entering the town center when small arms fire erupted all around
us. A rocket took out our lead vehicle, trapping us. It was an ambush.
We called in air support and returned fire. But we were outnumbered.
Guys starting get hit all around me. Guys I knew, dying right in front
of me. Sgt. Nash pulled us together and we took cover behind a concrete
wall. The last thing I remember was the whistle of an incoming rocket
and the weight of that concrete wall crashing down on me.
A chopper ride and a couple flights later, and I'm back in the States. I
don't really remember any of it. Everything went black and I woke up in
this military hospital, being wheeled in for surgery. I was in an out
for the next few days, dreaming mostly. Even now, I'm not 100%. In fact,
writing this has made me exhausted. I'll have to finish the rest later.
August 23
They gave me a hard time about using the computer again. I need my rest,
they say. That's all I do. Rest. I need at least some connection to the
outside world.
I found out today that Sgt. Nash is alive and here in the hospital. I'm
gonna try to visit him when I get a chance. I'm still in a wheelchair,
so it's hard to get around without someone's help. Makes me feel
pathetic.
I don't know if anyone else made it. Maybe Nash will know.
Haven't heard anything from my parents. I don't even know if they know
I'm here.
August 24
I found Sgt. Nash. He's in good shape and remembers a lot about what
happened.
As it turns out, the militias were tipped off to our coming that day.
The very same villagers we were sent there to protect were keeping tabs
on us - our movements, our departure from base, everything. They gave
all this information to the militias so they would be ready for us when
we got there. They sold us out.
Air support arrived shortly after I got hit. They leveled any building
the enemy might be hiding in. Choppers came in to make sure everyone got
out - wounded, dead or alive. We lost over half our squad.
This whole ordeal taught me an important lesson. Instead of paying
attention to the task at hand, I got sidetracked, thinking I had to do
some sort of “greater good” in order to prove myself or some shit like
that. I got caught up in trying to save the world instead of focusing on
what was important and sticking to the mission. That kind of thinking
costs men their lives. It won't happen again.
August 25
The food here is terrible. My bed is stiff. There's only one thing that
makes it bearable: The nurses.
These girls are incredible. They have these pristine white uniforms cut
right above the knee, their breasts spilling out from their shirts.
Look, I don't want to sound like a dirtbag or anything, I'm just saying
I appreciate the military providing us with this one thing to brighten
our days. Maybe it's sort of like payback for getting us stuck in this
place to begin with. I don't know. All I can say is, “thank you.”
August 26
Started my physical therapy today. I'm making it a goal to be walking in
a month. They say that's pushing it, but I don't care. I can't stay in
this place forever, although I'm not really sure where I'm going next.
The physical therapy was grueling. Holding myself by my arms and trying
to teach my legs how to walk again. They felt like two big sacks of
potatoes. But I kept trying. No matter what, I'm gonna keep trying.
I talked to Sgt. Nash again today. He's doing much better and will
probably be heading home soon. He's a good man.
September 2
My days now are filled with exercise, mental and physical exercises to
make me stronger. Vitamin shots in the morning, breakfast, physical
therapy, lunch, more physical therapy, dinner, psych evaluations,
vaccinations, weigh-ins, muscle measurements, bone density tests and on
and on and on. I'm starting to feel like a science experiment. But I am
getting stronger. I can hold myself up on my own two feet. At night, I
do push-ups on the floor and then climb back into bed. I refuse to
waste away in this place.
September 8
Sgt. Nash left today. I went down to his room on my crutches to say
goodbye. He's heading home for a couple weeks and then they're shipping
him back over. He was hoping he could spend more time with his wife and
daughter, but they say they need him. It really kind of freaked me out.
Is that what they're gonna do when I'm better? Ship me back? I don't
think I can go back there. I don't think I can watch people I know dying
in front of me again.
Nash said something weird before he left. I don't know if he felt
betrayed for being sent back into the field so quickly or whether it was
a reference to the ambush that put us here in the first place, but he
looked at me and he said "Don't trust anyone."
September 12
I walked down the hall and back today. All by myself. No crutches, no
handrails, nothing. I wish Nash could have seen it. I felt a real sense
of accomplishment. But also a sense of dread. What's next? I'll be
better soon, and then what will they do with me?
September 13
Okay, this is gonna be tough. I may ramble a bit. I'm still a bit
confused. I'm trying to remember it as best I can but it comes and goes.
That's why I need to write it down.
I had a nightmare last night. I was here, in the hospital. But it wasn't
really the hospital, you know what I mean? It was transformed, like a
twisted version of it - everything was the same but kind of upside down.
I kept hearing weird noises and sounds like people were being killed.
And it was dark. I could barely see anything.
And then I saw my brother, Joshua. He was here in the hospital, but
every time I got near him he would run away. He talked to me like he
didn't know who I was.
When I woke up, I was screaming. I wasn't sure if I was awake or not,
because I was still in the hospital and it was dark. But then the nurses
ran in. I couldn't calm down, so eventually they stuck me with a needle
and sedated me. That's why all of this is kind of a blur. I'm still a
little loopy from the drugs. I think I've calmed down but I can't get
those images of Joshua out of my head. Why wouldn't he listen to me? Why
was he here in the hospital?
September 14
I'm feeling a little better today. I've been having trouble sleeping but
I'm trying not to let it get in the way of my exercises. My legs are
stronger. I'm starting to walk stairs now.
When I was back in high school, I remember my friend Elle used to run
track. After school you could always see the team circling the gym,
running up the stairs to the weight deck then back down the other side.
I remember thinking how exhausting it must be to run all those stairs.
Now I feel that way after climbing just one flight.
But getting stronger is the one thing I have to focus on right now. I
don't really want to think about anything else.
September 15
I had the dream again. It went on even longer this time. No matter how
close I got to Joshua, he always got away. He kept asking me for things,
but whatever I got him didn't seem to help. He didn't look good.
Something was wrong. I know it was just a dream, but I've had this bad
feeling all day long that something's wrong with him.
I know that sounds ridiculous, but I just can't shake it. Maybe I'll
feel better tomorrow. The doctors are gonna give me something to help me
sleep tonight. I'm not so sure I want to.
September 18
I asked the staff at the hospital to try to get in touch with my
parents. I haven't heard from them since I got here. I just want them to
leave a message or something, let me know Joshua's okay. I'm sure he is.
I just want to know for sure. I can't get better if I'm worried about
some stupid dream.
September 21
I'm having the dream every night now. I stopped telling the doctors
about it. I lie now because every time I tell them, they stick me with
another needle to make me sleep. I'm sick of it. And the psychiatrist is
at it everyday too, wanting to know all the details, wanting to know if
I'm stressed out about anything. Yeah, asshole, I'm stressed out about
this stupid dream! I'm worried about my brother and my parents won't
call me back! So, yeah, I'm stressed out.
The drugs keep me drowsy. They make my muscles weak. Which is why I
don't tell them about the dreams now. I need to get out of this place.
And the only way I'm gonna do that is if I've got my wits about me.
September 25
I've been doing reconnaissance. During my morning walks around the
halls, I've mentally catalogued all the exits and all the places where
the MPs are stationed. It gives my days purpose. It's like another
mission.
The dreams haven't stopped, although I haven't told anyone (aside from
whoever's reading this). I feel better now that they've stopped giving
me the drugs. I'm more focused.
I dread the thought of going back home to Shepherd's Glen, but it's a
necessary evil. I can't stay here feeling like this. I just need to
check in on Joshua and make sure he's all right.
September 29
They found out about the dreams. I must have been talking in my sleep. I
woke up shouting Joshua's name again the other night and they sedated me
right away. I told them that I just needed to get out of here long
enough to check on my brother. They said that I'm suffering some sort of
post-traumatic shock. They don't know what the hell they're talking
about. Or maybe they do. Is that all this is? If so, how do I make it
stop?
I can't think straight with the drugs they put me on. Whatever they are,
they're not helping. They make me sleep, but they don't take away the
dreams. More importantly, they don't take away this awful feeling. I
just need to go!
October 1
I'm making a plan to get out of here. It's not like it's high security.
It's not a prison or anything. But it is a military hospital. They've
got MPs by all the exits and you can't leave without the right papers,
so I'll have to break out. Will they come after me? I doubt it. They'll
probably figure I'll come back eventually. And who knows, maybe I will.
Then again, I don't know if military life suits me anymore. I don't
really know much about what my future holds. Only that, I won't be in
here much longer.
October 7
The plan is set. On my morning walks, I discovered an exit to a loading
dock at the back of the building. I was out there looking it over for a
good five minutes before an MP found me. I acted dumb, like I was
drugged up (an easy thing to fake at this point). I pretended I was
lost. "Well, you can't be back here, soldier," he said. "You gotta get
back inside where they can make you all better." Condescending ass. Boy
will he be pissed when he finds out I got out that way.
I went online and got a map of the area around the hospital and found
that the main road in front of the place leads right out to the highway.
I figure I can get out through the loading dock exit, get up the road to
the highway and then hitch a ride from there. If I leave before midnight
I should be in Shepherd's Glen by morning.
Hopefully none of the staff here are reading this. If they are, I'm
screwed.
October 10
My last entry. I'm full recuperated, I'm strong and they've laid off the
drugs the last couple of days, so I'm lucid. I figure this is as good a
time as any to make my exit. I just need to find out for myself that
Joshua's okay. I'm his older brother, that's my job. And I'm never gonna
find out in this place. They're never gonna let me leave if the
nightmares don't stop, and the nightmares won't stop until I've checked
on Joshua. So I'm stuck. I only hope it goes okay.
With any luck I'll be blogging again soon with good news, a clear head
and some idea of what the future holds.
Until then
PFC Alex Shepherd, signing off. |
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September 4
I’m just going to start writing and see what happens here. I apologize
in advance if I come off whiny, bitchy, stupid, lame, annoying, weird,
creepy, or a drama queen.
Another great day in my house! Mom barely spoke a word to me, which is
about five words more than usual. Dad locked himself in the bedroom all
day. He’s found the best way to deal with life is just to pull the
covers over your eyes and pretend no one can see you. I wish it were
that easy.
But for me, something actually happened. I managed to get one of the old
computers in the library to work! See, typing works!!!! I CAN TYPE IN
CAPS TOO!!!
For anyone reading this (not sure why), then you might be asking
yourself “just who is this girl and why do I care?” Well, for one, yes
I’m a girl (note to creepy stalkers: stay away, I’ve got enough weirdoes
around me). My name is Elle. I live in the smallest place in the world,
Shepherd’s Glen.
Haven’t heard of it? Big surprise.
If you got in your car, drove to the most unused road near your house,
then took it for 100 miles, then turned off on a dirt road with no name,
drove on THAT for a whole day, you would still never get here.
So what’s the big deal with the computer in the library? (Yes, I’m still
excited about that!) Well, everything around here is either broken or
from before I was born. So finding a computer that actually makes the
letters appear on the screen when I type is a miracle of modern science.
Okay. Rambling. (I should have added that to the list above.) I could go
on for about a thousand hours, but then I wouldn’t have anything to
write about next time.
And then what would you do with yourself?
September 5
I’m back!
Don’t all applaud at once.
I’m not sure why I’m back. The last time I was just testing to see if
the computer actually worked, but it does. And it’s still here waiting
for me. This computer is officially my new best friend!
If someone told you they had a computer for a best friend, would you
think they were crazy? I would. But then again, good friends are hard to
come by.
So who wants to read about another exciting day from the pages of my
life?
Okay, I woke up. No one was home. Looked outside and it was another
beautiful foggy day. I opened the fridge and there was about half a
glass of old apple juice and a jar of mustard. Seriously, THAT’S WHAT
WAS IN THE FRIDGE. I wrote a note to Mom on the door. It said, “Hey! Can
we PLEASE buy some food? There are humans in need of nourishment still
living in this house!” Think she’ll get the message?
I went down to Solar (best chili fries). Luckily, they’re still open.
Jeanine (who owns it) took mercy on my starving self and fed me. But she
seemed all weirded out the rest of the time, which in turn weirded me
out. She kept asking me all these questions about my mom and what she
was up to. As if I’ve seen her in days. I stuffed my face as fast as I
could.
And then I dragged my bloated ass over to the library to write this.
And THAT is what my day consisted of. Hopefully yours was a little bit
more fulfilling. Do tell.
September 6
You know what I found taped to my door this morning? That note that I
left on the fridge for my mom with a twenty dollar bill taped to it!
Talk about lazy. At least she’s paying attention.
September 7
I got an idea a few days ago. I thought that from now on, I would try to
run at least twenty minutes every morning. I’ve been pretty lazy, just
sitting around waiting for something to happen (and to be honest, chili
fries five days a week are taking their toll).
So, today I got up really early and ran. And I saw the funniest thing. I
saw the mayor, the actual mayor of Shepherd’s Glen passed out in front
of his mansion. No one was around! I thought about taking a picture, but
that would be too mean, don’t you think? I went up there to make sure he
was okay. He was really out of it and smelled like a case of wine. I
found a stick and poked him to make sure he was still alive. He was. I
felt bad for the guy. I’ve never been THAT messed up.
But seriously, no wonder everything has gone to hell around here. The
freaking mayor is sleeping on his own front lawn like he’s some high
school freshman who didn’t make it home from a party. How embarrassing.
Alex would have found that funny. Too bad he’s not around.
September 8
Weird thing today - my mom actually stopped by my room, woke me up and
asked me how I was feeling this morning.
Huh, what, huh? This woman hasn’t spoken a word to me in months and now
she’s taking an interest in my feelings?
I said to her, “and you are?”
She didn’t think that was funny. She rarely finds the things I do or say
funny. She used to.
I’m not sure what has happened, but my mom and I used to be friends. Not
like hang out at the mall friends, but at least she acted like a mom who
had a daughter.
September 10
I’m so bored. I went down to Solar today and tried to spice things up
and NOT order the same thing. Woo hoo!
I went by school today. The place was empty but the door to the gym was
unlocked. I snuck inside. It’s amazing how creepy the place is when no
one is around. I stopped by Alex’s locker. He used to have all these
stickers, but they must have scraped them off. It’s like he was never
there. I was hoping there would be something left of his I could have
kept.
Then it started to get pretty scary being there alone and I thought I
heard some people talking from the classrooms upstairs, so I ran out of
there pretty quick. I never saw anyone.
My boredom is going to get me into trouble one of these days.
September 11
So about that Alex guy I just happened to mention last time. I know
you're all dying inside for some juicy gossip on my personal life.
Okay, twist my arm.
Alex was a guy from my school (obviously). First he totally ignored me
when we got into high school, which was really annoying since I've known
him forever and he acted like he had never seen me before. But then we
started hanging out again. He was over at my house a lot during the last
couple of years because his dad was always working and his mom pretty
much didn't care less where he was. Funny thing is that my mom, of all
people, actually talked to him like she cared. That was a pretty great
time for all of us. Alex and I hung out every day and during our summer
vaca after graduation, he would stay over at our house when he got off
from work. I don't think his mom ever called or came over to find out
where he was, which was fine with us because everyone just left us
alone.
I'm not sure I want to talk about all of this right now. I promise I
will - just not today.
September 12
Okay, I wanted to organize all the thoughts I had about the day things
changed for me, so I went back and put it all in order so I wouldn't
just ramble on and on (like I normally do, yes I KNOW!).
Right, so Alex and I were having a great time that summer, blah, blah,
blah. After the summer, our town had this big anniversary party. There
was something actually FUN happening where we lived! Everyone was there.
My mom and I worked a dunk tank together, and Alex did safety guard for
the petting zoo - you know, making sure the animals didn't attack the
children!
And then, that whole week, Alex didn't come by and he didn't call me. It
was weird, so I went over to his house. No one answered the door. I
could hear Alex's mom crying. I banged and banged forever. I thought
something bad had happened. His dad came out and told me that Alex had
left. HE LEFT? I was like, where did he go? I could tell that his dad
was angry. I asked if Alex was okay and he said he was fine. He just
shut the door on me. I didn't know what was going on. I banged on the
door again, but Alex's dad just told me to go away and leave them alone.
I went home to tell my mom, but she was gone and so was my dad and my
sister. I just went up to my room and fell asleep hoping that I would
wake up and it would be back to normal.
That was a few years ago and I still haven't forgiven Alex for just
leaving like that without even calling me. That's when everything in my
life started to suck. I can't talk to anyone around here like I could
with him. No one here has any perspective. Alex and I could talk for
hours about whatever.
At least I have you to talk to. Are you listening?
September 14
Hi.
I'm not sure how long it's been since my last post. Feels like it's been
a while, but it could just be that the clock in my head is all screwed
up. Maybe I need to start crossing off days in a calendar, like someone
shipwrecked on a deserted island.
Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a big hello to Elle, the drama queen!
So, something pretty crappy happened today. I went down to Solar for my
usual fix and it was closed! No sign of Jeanine either.
I'm going to go back there now and see if she showed up. What the hell
are people supposed to eat around here?
September 15
Okay, this is starting to freak me out. Yesterday, I saw Jeanine and she
was just wandering around Main Street. She wasn't going anywhere, she
just stood there in front of her store. I went up to talk to her, but I
might as well have been invisible. She just stared at me. I asked her if
she was okay. She asked me if I had seen her husband. She started
getting really weird about it and kept asking me over and over again.
I didn't really know what to do, so I just went to the other side of the
street and made sure she didn't do anything stupid like walk in front of
a truck or something.
After about an hour, she went inside the café, closed the door and
disappeared into the back. I went over there and knocked on the door,
but she never came out. I thought I heard some yelling inside, but then
it just stopped.
I took off and went straight home, up to my room and closed the door. I
didn't know where my mom was, so I just stayed in my room the rest of
the day. I was scared to even come to the library to write this, but I
knew you would find it all very thrilling! I do this for you.
Maybe tomorrow, aliens will land in front of the town hall and take me
on board. Doubt it. That would almost be a relief.
September 16
I was trying to figure out a way I could get the computer out of the
library and bring it home, so I wouldn't have to leave my house.
Yes, it's gotten that creepy around here. Today, the streets were really
empty and the fog didn't lift the whole day. Even Mr. Rooney, the guy
who runs the tourist place, is usually around (not sure why, we haven't
had an actual tourist in months). But he was gone, his little stand was
all closed up.
I'm not sure how safe it is for me to come here anymore, but I'll try
again soon. Now, I'm going to go find my mom.
September 17
Hi.
So, this morning my mom was cooking breakfast. Yes, you read that right,
she was actually cooking breakfast: eggs, bacon, the works! I was really
excited!
We just sat there and ate, like two pigs. We talked about all sorts of
things. I brought up Alex and how I missed him, she understood and told
me she missed him too and wished he was here with me so I wouldn't get
so lonely. She knows that most of my friends have gone off to college
and many of the people around town have just packed up. I could tell she
was worried about what was happening, with everyone closing up the
stores, but she told me not to worry about it. I said I was a bit scared
to go outside. She told me to be careful. She walked me down to the
library today to make sure I was okay.
Still, I think she's pretending not to be scared for my sake. I guess
that's what makes her a parent.
September 22
I think my mom might be in denial. It's pretty obvious that people
aren't just leaving town. They're missing. Like, "no one knows what
happened to them" missing.
Remember when I told you about Jeanine looking for her husband? Today, I
saw her again and she had a stack of flyers with her husband's picture
on it. Before, I just thought he left her (for another woman or
something, she can be pretty annoying), but she really doesn't know
where he is! She hasn't heard from him or seen him. It's not like he
drove out of town. His car is still here.
I felt really bad for her, so I grabbed a stack of flyers and put them
up for her. Maybe we need to start making more flyers.
September 27
My mom saw me putting up more flyers today. She was heading to her
office but grabbed a bunch and told me she would put some up near work.
Some other people I don't really know stopped by and brought their own
flyers. This guy Clint who used to work at the library came by and
printed up a bunch more for some other people. I realized that this was
getting out of hand, so we went down the sheriff's station. The deputy
was there by himself. For someone who is supposed to be protecting the
town, this deputy acted like he just wanted us to leave. We showed him
all the flyers and he said he would "get on it". Sure.
The fog rolling in from the lake this morning made the place really
gloomy, so Clint walked me to the library. I'm really going to make the
effort to post this blog as much as I can, in case something bad
happens.
September 29
Clint hung out with me today while we printed up more flyers. We dropped
by our favorite deputy, who seems really annoyed by how many times we've
come by his office this past week. What the hell does he think we should
be doing? What the hell is HE doing about this? I would dial 911 if it
wasn't him at the other end of the phone. Maybe I should call the Army.
But what the hell would I tell them?
I could really use Alex right now. Sometimes I have the tendency to
freak out really easily and Alex is one of the calmest people I know. I
think I'm trying to block out the idea that he might be missing as well
because I just can't deal with the idea of anyone else in my life
disappearing.
October 5
Clint is gone.
He didn't show up at the library this morning. I went by his apartment.
It was unlocked. I didn't want to go in, but I had to. No sign of him.
Nothing left behind either - his place was totally untouched. I knocked
on some of the other doors, but I couldn't find any help. Maybe he just
packed up and left. It got me thinking - maybe we should get out of here
too.
I ran home and my mom was there. I told her about Clint and said we
should go, like get out of town. She said that this was our home and
where were we supposed to go? We argued about it, but there was no
convincing her. I would have left by myself, but I can't leave her
behind. I came back to the library to see if Clint might be hiding out,
but he's not here either.
I know the deputy is still here. Tomorrow, I'm going there, and this
time he better help me.
October 6
Okay. Good news. Deputy Wheeler is more on the ball than I thought.
I went down to the station today and we had a good long talk. Turns out,
he has more information about what's going on than I do. He showed me a
stack of missing person reports and said he was going his best to check
out each and every one. According to him, all these people have one
thing in common - they vanished without any reason or warning.
I told him that Clint was missing, and we added him to the list. Wheeler
told me I shouldn't be wandering around town alone anymore, but he
figured I would anyway so he gave me one of his cop walkie-talkies. It's
pretty cool. I make sure to check in with him every few hours and report
anything weird.
Unfortunately, everything around here is weird! I'm going to stop by
Alex's parents' house to make sure his mom is okay.
October 7
I saw Mrs. Shepherd today. I don't think I've seen her since the day
Alex left. I'm pretty sure she hasn't left the house lately. There
wasn't much to eat, so I went down to the grocery store. They shut down
almost a year ago, but I figured they must have some canned stuff in
there.
Now, I know stealing is wrong, but this is a crisis, wouldn't you say? I
broke in. Don't tell my mom, I don't need her throwing the book at me.
The place stank! But I found a bunch of good stuff. I wish I had thought
of this earlier. I grabbed as much as I could and got out of there. I'm
going to hoard a few things here in the library so I know they'll always
be here.
October 8
I told Alex's mom I would come once a week or
so in the afternoon to check on her. She just nodded. I wanted to ask
her about Alex and that whole situation, but I think everything that's
been going on has been taking a toll on her mind. I don't even know if
she cares (or knows) I'm here, but I think it's good that I do stop by
even if it's just for a minute to make sure she's ok.
Wheeler and I went through another stack of missing person reports. I
copied a bunch and replaced the old ones out at the board. I don't know
if anyone's reading them, but I'll keep putting them up.
Wheeler has some "interesting" ideas as to what is going on. He told me
he had posted them online. I don't know how much of his ideas are
actually possible, but it's definitely worthwhile reading material.
As for me, I'm just trying to keep out of trouble. My mom is down at her
office most days. I think she's got her own problems.
October 9
I've stopped going home.
This morning I could have sworn there was someone in my house. I didn't
know where but I know I'm not crazy. I grabbed as much of my stuff as I
could and got out of there. I left a note for my mom telling her I would
find her.
Maybe I'm in over my head with this whole thing. I told Wheeler I was
going to wait out the rest of this at the library and he could find me
there. I'm going to lay low for a while. I don't think I can stop by
Mrs. Shepherd's today, I'm just too scared to go outside. The fog seems
to always be around and it's hard to see ten feet in front of my own
face.
October 10
I quietly snuck down to my mom's office at the
town hall. I found her sorting through a pile of papers. She looked very
concerned and asked me to come back home. It's pretty obvious I'm afraid
of something, but I don't want her to think I can't handle what's going
on. I played it cool and told her I would be home tonight.
October 11
For a town that barely has a pulse, I was busy today.
First I stopped by Wheeler's office. I can tell the guy might be going a
bit looney in there all by himself with just his thoughts. I think he's
glad I'm actually still here with my eyes wide open (although I don't
know how much longer that will last).
He said he's been sitting on the roof at night and seeing strange
things. There was a lot of fear in his voice. He didn't really tell me
what he saw, just said a lot of animals moving in the shadows. Great.
What the hell does that mean? I made him some lunch, hung out for a
while and listened to more of his theories. He has this crazy idea about
how cell phones are always on and someone might be listening to your
conversations. Okay...
Finally, I went home and saw mom just as she was leaving. She was
heading over to talk to Dr. Fitch. I guess he's not feeling too well and
she's worried about him. I begged her to be careful... it was already
dark and I told her about the animals in the night that Wheeler had been
seeing. She told me she would be back soon. I don't think she took what
Wheeler said seriously.
I hope she'll be okay.
October 12
When I woke up this morning, I realized I hadn't heard my mom come home
last night. She was back over at the doctor's house. I burst out of my
room and ran into hers, but there she was with my dad, sound asleep. It
was the first time in a long while I felt okay.
That lasted for about a minute. When I looked outside, everything was
covered in haze. Not like the usual morning fog... this was different.
The entire town was painted in a murky gray cloud.
I radioed Wheeler and he ordered me to stay inside today. He said not to
come down to the station.
"There's something bad out there" were his exact words.
But as you can see, I didn't stay inside. I walked around to see if I
could find anyone who needed my help. If Wheeler was scared of what was
out here, then maybe someone needed a safe place to go. I called out. No
one answered. I went down to the flyer board and made sure they were
still up... just in case.
On my way back to the library, I heard voices again, coming out of the
fog. I ran. I ran as fast as I could to the library. I locked the door
tight and blocked the door. I couldn't see anyone following me, but the
fog is freaking thick, they could have been right behind me and I never
would have known.
Whoever said that curiosity killed the cat might have been right. But
cats have nine lives. I'm pretty sure I only get one.
October 13
I slept in the library. Wheeler radioed me early this morning. He sounds
desperate. He's boarded himself up in to the sheriff's station. The only
guy in town who can help me and I have no way of getting to him now. He
asked me if I had seen anyone. I told him the last person I saw was my
mother, who was going over to Dr. Fitch's office. And that was it.
I don't know what to do now. Stay here? At least I can get the word out
about what's happening and hope someone's reading.
But maybe someone out there needs my help. Last night I could hear all
sorts of strange noises. I don't know. Maybe this is all in my head and
I'm asleep somewhere dreaming this whole thing.
Why can't I dream about nice things?
October 15
I don't know how much longer I'll be able to post. The computer was shut
off when I woke up today (stayed another few nights here... I need a
shower...). I freaked out that it was broken, but it fired up about ten
minutes of me turning it on and off. Only the screen is really messed up
and flickering. I even tried to switch monitors, but something is wrong
with the actual computer. I'm typing very slowly to make sure the words
come out okay.
I don't think staying in the library is safe anymore. Last night, the
noises outside were unbearably loud, like something was trying to get
in. Today when I checked around to make sure nothing had broken in, I
found something that scared the living shit out of me... Clint's glasses
were folded neatly on one of the tables. I'm POSITIVE they weren't there
before. I have no idea what the hell that means, but I don't want to
stick around here anymore.
For anyone who is reading this, if you can get to Shepherd's Glen, I'll
be at the sheriff's station on Main. If I'm not there, the only man who
can help you find me will is Deputy Wheeler.
If you can't find him, then get the hell out of here. |
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September 10
Open your eyes!
You open your eyes, you might just start seeing what’s really going
on in the world.
For now, just think about this:
There were a total of six moon landings between 1969 and 1972. Over
the next three decades, we’ve managed to make laptop computers, cell
phones the size of credit cards, advances in DNA testing; yet we’ve
never managed to get back to the moon.
So without any hard evidence, what makes you believe we ever actually
landed on the moon in the first place? If we can’t do it now, how the
hell did we do it back then?
September 11
I can’t tell you who I am because I don’t want to ruffle my boss’s
feathers. He made it a rule - no personal time on the computer. This
computer’s strictly for work.
But I know how to use this thing better than he does. I can hide my
tracks. I have to make sure that if I ever need to go looking for a new
job, I can still get a decent referral. That is, if I can ever track him
down.
So all I can say right now is that I know things. I know about things
that maybe you know about, maybe you don’t. Either way, it’s not my job
to convince you that you’ve been lied to. It’s my job to make you
question what you’ve been told.
Only then can we start to REALLY understand what’s going on around
here.
September 12
My boss looked into buying some traffic cameras a while back. You
know, to catch speeders? Right.
If those cameras are supposed to snap a photo right at the moment of
a crime, why do they always keep running, shooting video, day and night?
Most people don’t realize that. They think, SNAP, and they’re busted.
But those cameras; they’re always watching you.
So make sure you’re watching them.
September 13
Do you borrow books from the library?
Hey, don’t get me wrong, reading is good for you. In fact, the
government is so happy that you’re reading, they want to know what
you’re reading as well.
So remember, every swipe of that library card sends a nice little
byte of information to your friendly FBI office letting them know just
what it is you’ve checked out.
It could be Huckleberry Finn or it could be Mein Kampf. Which one do
you think they’ll be more interested in? I’m sure they’ll come knocking
at your door one day to tell you.
September 15
I ordered some crypto software so I can stay hidden online. That way
I can tell you more about me. I shouldn’t really be so worried, should
I? I mean, we live in a free country where I can say whatever I want,
right?
A fun little fact for you: You have a cell phone, right? Of course,
everyone does. Now you realize that when you talk on that cell phone,
the information is transmitted to a cell tower, which then bounces it to
a satellite, back down to another cell tower and into the phone of
whoever you’re talking to. Did you ever wonder what happens to all that
information as it’s just flying through the air like that? Did you ever
wonder who might be listening?
“Sure,” you say, “I knew that. I’m not that na. I would never
say anything really private on my cell phone. What else you got, old
man?”
All right, well what would you say if I told you that even when your
cell phone is off, someone can still listen in on your conversations?
Take a look at the little mic on your phone. Take a good look at it. Do
you think it’s off right now? Say something. Speak into the mic.
Ever wonder why when you’re not using your phone, the battery is
still getting drained? It’s not because that little digital clock is
ticking, I’ll tell you that.
September 16
I feel like a criminal (which is ironic considering what I do for a
living. More on that soon).
Today I stayed late and installed that new software. It hides files,
lets me surf anonymously and erases any trace of me on the Internet. My
boss will never know.
About that. My boss hasn’t really been around for a while. I
guess I’m sort of in charge here now. But that’s why he hired me.
I mean, a sheriff needs a good deputy to handle things when he’s not
around, right?
So now you know. I’m a deputy. It’s a small town and I’m
not so sure I want the sheriff’s office being connected to my personal
feelings about what’s going on in the world out there. There’s the
public image to think about. You see, when I’m wearing the badge,
the gun is loaded and my walkie is on, I’m Deputy Wheeler. But
behind the uniform is a man on a mission. I want people to know
what I know, to see what I’ve seen.
And believe me, where I live, I’ve seen it all.
That’s all for now. In the meantime, wear big reflective
sunglasses - keeps those ATM cameras from seeing your face.
So make sure you're watching them.
September 17
I don't really have the time to tell you about any of life's great
mysteries today. Instead, I'm gonna tell you a little bit about life
here in Shepherd's Glen.
The travel brochure reads: “Come and relax in Shepherd's Glen.”
That's supposed to make people want to come here. I suppose if it said
“Come and relax in Shepherd's Glen, where it's gray and foggy, no one
talks to you and there's all sorts of secret shit going on behind closed
doors,” people wouldn't come visit, would they?
Well, between you and me, I haven't seen a tourist here in hell of a
long time. No one comes to visit anymore. And the people who live aren't
exactly all that friendly anymore.
None of this should surprise me. Every town has its secrets.
September 18
I remember when I took this job, the sheriff told me that Shepherd's
Glen was a place where I'd never have to load my gun.
But when the sheriff himself takes off and doesn't come back, maybe
it's time to load your gun, son.
September 19
I didn't always used to think like this. I was a skeptic, same as
most people. But then I came here. In the last few years, I've seen more
strange shit than most people have seen in their whole lives. I started
thinking that maybe there might be other people like me out there.
People who QUESTION things.
If I can't figure out what's been going on around here, maybe
somebody out there can. So if anything I'm saying rings any bells, send
me a line. I could use the help. I'm feeling kind of alone out here.
September 20
I just got something new on the radar I wanna talk to you about.
They're called ChemTrails.
Now when an ordinary plan flies overhead it leaves what they call a
“contrail.” But ChemTrails are different. They last much longer and
dissipate into the air, leaving the sky overcast. They usually show up
in a crisscross pattern. There have been documented sightings of these
things all over the world.
The reason this caught my attention was because of the weather aspect
of the story. This town is so damned gloomy, I can't remember the last
time I saw sunshine. Could this be what's causing it? And if it is,
who's behind it?
Of course, the usual suspects come to mind: the federal government,
NATO, the UN, the pharmaceutical industry, the oil companies, the list
goes on. But what are they trying to do? And why are they doing it HERE?
September 21
Speaking of who's behind it all, you should be aware of who's really
running the world out there. We all think we live in a democracy, right?
We elect our leaders. Power comes from the people. Sure, if by “the
people” you mean 325 guys who meet once a year in secret.
I'm talking about the Trilateral Commission. It's a group that was
founded back in the 70s by the wealthiest and most powerful men in the
world. They're the ones who are really calling the shots.
Think I'm making this up. A lot of our top politicians are or were a
part of this group at one time, including a couple of presidents. Wanna
know which ones? Look it up. You'll be amazed.
September 22
I wouldn't say I've given up on my boss ever coming back, but I sure
as hell wouldn't put money on it. He knew something was up here. Maybe
he got too close to figuring it out and someone decided to shut him up.
Now that I mention it, this station isn't as secure as it could be.
If anyone reading this didn't want me spilling the beans on what's
really going on, they wouldn't have to do much to take me out. I'm gonna
have to work on locking this place down.
Lucky for me, I haven't really figured anything out, so I guess I'm
safe for now.
September 23
I might have spoken too soon. I don't think anyone's really safe
around here any more. The population in this town has been dwindling for
years, but I'm starting to notice that people are just GONE. The mission
person reports are stacking up, and I'm the only one working here. What
the hell am I supposed to do by myself?
I mentioned that the tourists had stopped coming long ago, that there
were no new faces in town. Well, that may be true, but I get the feeling
SOMEBODY is here. You can never quite see them - they disappear before
you get a good look. But there are people roaming around this town who
aren't supposed to be here.
I put a new set of locks on the front door to the station. That's
just for starters.
September 24
I learned a little bit more about those ChemTrails. Apparently, one
theory is that what they're spraying into the air is iron oxide - little
particles of metal that can get into your body and poison you. The
question is, why is the government doing this?
Well, the big idea is that the federal government is actually behind
global warming, that releasing these metal particles into the air
reflects sunlight, heating up the atmosphere.
Now, I can believe an awful lot, but I think the verdict is pretty
much in on what's causing global warming. It doesn't take a genius to
figure out that pumping all that CO2 into the air is eventually gonna
turn this planet into an arboretum. Hey, at least we'll be able to grow
orchids.
September 25
Today I decided to reach out to some of the local leaders here in
town. They've pretty much ignored me since my boss left, but I figure I
need SOMEONE to listen to me if we're gonna save this town from falling
apart.
I stopped by the judge's office but it was empty. It looked like
nobody had been there for a while. I tried the local doctor's office
too. I swear I could hear someone inside, but no one answered when I
knocked. So I headed up to the mayor's mansion, and there I found the
strangest thing:
Mayor Bartlett's vines had all been cut down. The mayor grows grapes
for a little winery that his family has owned for ages. Somebody had
gone through the entire field and hacked apart every single grapevine
there. But wait, here's the kicker. On the edge of the field, someone
had written a message in the dirt. It said: "Stop looking at me."
September 26
Did you know that Franklin Delano Roosevelt had prior knowledge of the
attack on Pearl Harbor. He had been trying to get the U.S. to enter the
war for years, but the people didn't want it. So when he got the
intelligence that the Japanese were planning the attack, he did jack to
stop it. He did, however, make sure that none of the aircraft carriers
stationed at Pearl were in the actual harbor when the attack came. He
needed the attack to be devastating enough to piss off the American
public and get us into the war, but he couldn't let the entire fleet get
destroyed.
I feel like that's what this town needs right now. Some big event to
wake them up and make them realize what's going on. We need to mobilize
here, people. I can't do this by myself. I'm just one man.
September 27
When people talk about the all the conspiracy stuff surrounding the
Lincoln assassination, they always bring up the connections to JFK. Both
their VPs were named Johnson, both their names have seven letters, etc,
etc. Please, people, that's nothing. Here's something that's actually
true.
Years after Lincoln's assassination, his son Robert fell off a railway
platform onto the tracks. He was saved by Edwin Booth, John Wilkes
Booth's brother. Robert Lincoln's life was saved by the brother of the
man that killed his father. Talk about a small world.
Mary Todd Lincoln went crazy. Hey, can you blame her? She watched three
of her kids die and her husband get shot in the back of the head. Her
own son took her to court to try to have her committed. Grief can drive
a person nuts. I've seen it firsthand. Reading this, you probably think
I'm crazy. But I might just be the only sane person left in this place.
September 28
Good news. There's a girl here in town named Elle who's been trying to
figure things out just like me. She's been posting flyers for missing
people all over the place, so I told her to put them up on the bulletin
board outside the station. You never know, it might help.
She seems even more clueless about this whole situation than I am, but
it's good to have someone to talk to. I can't tell if she's listening to
what I'm telling her or not. These young people, they've got no
attention span.
But she's a fighter, I can tell that. She's got something driving her.
September 29
Reinforced the front door today. Fog's getting thicker. Sometimes when I
walk, I can hear someone walking behind me, just beyond the fog. They
stop when I stop. Maybe it's an echo. Maybe it's not.
I stocked the station with food Elle brought over. I brought some
clothes and supplies from home. I'm not going back there for a while.
September 30
Things are getting worse, much worse. Most times I go outside now I
don't see anyone at all. I know there are still people living here. I
can hear them whispering.
At night I go up on the roof. I can't see the stars. It's too overcast.
I can hear things moving around at night out there. It sounds like
animals but...
Things are not right here. This isn't something I'm making up. There is
something honest-to-God wrong with this place.
October 6
I've started going up on the roof a lot now. I
want to be able to keep an eye on things, but it's not safe to go out in
the streets. I told that to Elle but she doesn't listen, does she? She's
trying to play detective. I told her that that was my job, and even I'm
not stupid enough to go wandering around out there.
I gave her one of the walkies from the station and told her to check in
whenever she can, just to let me know she's all right. I also told her
it would be a good idea to radio me before she comes by. I don't wanna
blow a hole in the door with my shotgun if I hear a noise and then find
out it was her.
October 7
Something's wrong with my Internet connection. Sometimes it just stops
working. How am I supposed to deal with all this if I have no connection
to the outside world? I need answers, people. Doesn't anybody out there
have some answers for me?
I'm no better off than when I started. I've been looking into the
history of the town, and I've found a lot of interesting things, but
nothing that gets me where I want to be. I've got theories, ideas,
possibilities... But no one to discuss them with. Even Elle's tired of
listening to me.
I wish I could just get pointed in the right direction.
October 12
I've made a decision. I'm boarding up the station. It's not safe out
there and I'll be more good to the people in this town staying in here
trying to use my brain than going out there trying to fight something I
can't even see. The last thing I did before I locked the doors was to
get a whole bunch of books about Shepherd's Glen from the town hall.
Those should keep me busy for a while.
October 14
The Internet connection went out again. It's making me suspicious. Does
somebody not want me posting this? Am I on to something? Maybe I'm
getting too close to the truth.
Or maybe someone doesn't want me calling for help. That's a spooky
thought. Why do they care about me? I'm just a run-down old deputy.
Shit, what the hell they think I'm gonna do?
At least the walkies still work. Elle's been good about keeping in touch
and letting me know she's all right. She's still at it out there,
putting up flyers, keeping hope alive. But that can't last too much
longer. No one can stay hopeful forever.
October 15
The Internet connection is shot. It comes and goes so sporadically I'll
be surprised if this post even makes it out there. Someone or something
is trying to isolate me. They don't want you to hear what I'm saying.
Well, they may be able shut me up, but they can't do the same to you.
So I'll leave you with this, people. Learn from what's happened to me,
because it could happen to you. Open your eyes to what's going on around
you. Whoever did this here could do it in your town too. PAY ATTENTION.
And don't believe the people in power when they say that everything is
going to be okay.
Because it's not. |
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