Notes

Notes are scattered throughout each Zone and contain information regarding story, challenge, or puzzles. Blood and Light notes change based on your actions, with other notes providing clues on how to do this.

General notes

Note #1

IVORY TESTAMENT
The Beginning

Following the age of strife, a pale Emissary descended from on high, blessing our Order with the voice of the God. And he did instruct us in methods to prepare the sacred vellum that should accept the word of the God. And he did instruct us in methods for binding it in accordance to the will of the God.

Note #2

IVORY TESTAMENT
Word given Form

And so as instructed, so did we prepare the sacred vellum and bind the message, creating an appropriate vessel for the God's power on Earth, from which all people shall receive instruction.

Note #3

IVORY TESTAMENT
The Law

In those days, the laws of our Order were transcribed by the Priests in many texts, among them this Testament, the holiest of our doctrines. In accordance to the teachings of the God's Emissary, our Order produced many tomes that would await the word of the God.

Note #4

IVORY TESTAMENT
Manifesting the Law

As the God bestowed revelations onto our Order, so they were written. And whatsoever was committed to the holy vellum, so did the God's will manifest unto our world.

Note #5

ON MEMORY

Ever had a friend remember a shared event entirely differently than you remember it? When a memory is "deleted" from the human brain, it does not completely disappear. It leaves behind Memory Residue.

From this "MR", new memories can be formed; not the usual way--by experiencing outside stimuli--but by repurposing the MR into a new, changed memory.

Note #6

SHARED DREAMS

When two peoples' lives intertwine in a specific way, they can often share dream experiences. When this occurs, one person will enter the dreamscape of the other.

But be careful when experimenting, dream-walkers. If one person's memories conflict with another's, the two will clash violently. It takes a very strong will to subdue another's truth and assert his or her own perceived reality.

Note #7

PSYCHOLOGIST'S JOURNAL

Whenever you're exploring the mind's "inner maze", your patient may put up walls--even unintentionally. While it's often a matter of finding the right key, it can be more complicated. In these cases, think back over the memories your patient has shared. Be an explorer! What puzzle pieces did they reveal?

Present these discoveries carefully, and you're bound to have a breakthrough on your hands.

Note #8

MAKING A CHANGE

Perspective is everything in life. When someone forces a change, the way we react often depends on how we feel about that person. Are they sensitive to our needs? Or do they ignore us entirely? A caring friend can make even bad news easier to accept, and nobody reacts well to a bully.

Every day, you are making a difference! For good or ill, your decisions matter, and they cotinue to matter each time you encounter the person or things associated wit the person.

Note #9

KARMA

There are two ways a person can react in any situation: positively or negatively.

This energy becomes what is known as "Karma". It's natural for both positive and negative energies to build up inside one's inner world. This means it's sometimes necessary to "clean house" and eradicate the negative memories that build up--leaving one with only the positive energy. Of course, the opposite could take place too, but who would want that?

Note #10

JUDGEMENTS ON ALCHEMY

There are three elements considered the base of all things:

Light - borne by the heavens.
Blood - borne by this world.
Steel - borne by mankind, and the most powerful.

Fire, Water, Earth, and Wood may be considered lesser elements. All others should be cast out; to use them is blasphemy.

Derek

Note #11

Finally got news on the big promotion--they gave it to Derek. I'm a little disappointed. I know he's been here longer, but I worked so hard these past few months. It was probably dumb to get my hopes up.

Note #12

Derek, honey, I know you don't want advice from your mom, but I am your mom so I'm going to say it anyway. Have you thought about taking some time off? You've been so busy at work I'm just worried you'll burn out. I know you. You're "on" all the time, and that's wonderful, but we all need to take time off and just rest. Go to the park and sit in the shade, or feed the ducks, or something fun. Love you dear. -Mom

Note #13

From the Desk of Dr. K

Derek wants to be a responsible, accomplished person. It's clear from his descriptions of work that he's willing to take any assignment given to him, regardless of who requests it or how many missions he's performed for that person. Derek is eager to help with any task. However, he tends to react badly when this doesn't result in praise or reward. He seems frustrated he's 'suffered in silence' for so long.

Note #14

to: sd.17159@kn-mail.com
from: galvin75@kn-mail.com

In regards to your question, I assigned the task to Derek because he never backs down from a puzzle or takes the easy way out. Every time he encounters an obstacle, he finds a solution. His dedication to the job is an asset to our team, and he's one of our stars. I stand behind my choice.

Note #15

Blood
Hey, <player>-
You really saved my ass covering that shift last week. I was so hammered, you don't even know. Parties like that don't happen every day.

Light
Hey, <player>-
Thanks for covering my shift last week. I had no idea my Aunt was going to be in town. I haven't seen her in two years, so it was kind of a big deal. I owe you one.
-Derek

Note #16

Blood
Good job, team!
Congratulations to the winners of our first annual sales competition! Hopefully the turnout is a bit better next year...
1. <player> - $3,100
2. Vikki - $2,500
3. Antone - $2,300
4. Jaime - $1,900
5. C. J. - $1,850

Light
Good job, team!
Our first annual sales competition was a success. Enjoy those movie tickets, winners!
1. <player> - $3,100
2. Derek - $2,900
3. Whitney - $2,500
4. Simon - $1,850
5. Jenn - $1,375

Note #17

Blood
NOTICE TO EMPLOYEES
This is just a reminder as it seems certain team members have forgotten their training... Drinking and use of illegal substances behind the building is PROHIBITED. Even after hours--especially after hours. This is a serious safety concern. What you do at home is your business but you will abide by work rules whenever on the premises.

Light
TELL US YOUR EXPERIENCE
Name: Robert Phillips
Comment: I wanted to thank your employee, Derek, for his attentiveness to our shopping needs. He went out of his way to check the back room and call another location when it turned out the item wasn't in stock. I see the worst of the worst at my job, and it's refreshing to encounter a conscientious worker like Derek.

Note #18

Blood
S'up dude?
Made up my mind--I can't miss Doug's party. I'll have to make up some excuse for the no-show at work, but I have time to figure that out. There better be girls, man. And they better be hot!
-Derek

Light
Mr. Galvin,
Just wanted to give you a heads up, I'm going to be about an hour late today. My alarm didn't go off or something--slept late. I'm really sorry--it won't happen again. I'm hurrying as fast as I can. Thanks for understanding (hope you check your Email!) -Derek

Note #19

Blood
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION
Name: Derek Copeland

This was a tough year for Derek. I'm not really sure what happened, but his performance has dropped off drastically. I've recommended he go through the training process again--hopefully this jumps starts the old Derek. I don't want to loose one of my superstars, but if he doesn't turn this around I won't have much choice.

Light
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION
Name: Derek Copeland

Derek is a hard worker and knows his way around. He's well versed in every department, and I can trust him to train new employees as well. I never have to worry about Derek. He's easily among our top representatives. As he's eligible for a wage increase, I recommend he receive the full amount.

Note #20

Blood
Well, today they officially announced my promotion. Derek was pretty upset. He went on a tirade, then quit, just like that. He had to see this coming; he's been a mess lately. Seniority only goes so far.

Light
Big news at work today--I got the promotion! I was positive they were going to choose Derek, but apparently they're transferring him to a different store instead.

Katie

Note #21

Ran into Katie today... a pleasant surprise. We haven't really talked since High School, so it was nice to catch up. Still crazy in love with her. Unfortunately, it turns out she's been dating Trent, of all people. So... still the one that got away, I guess.

Note #22

CLASS SCHEDULE
student: Katie Collins

1. Math 120 - M/W 9:00 - 10:30
2. Hist. 110B - M/W 10:30 - 12:00
3. Health Science 203 - M/W 1:00 - 2:30
4. Social Psych. 350 - T/Th 10:30 - 12:00
5. Dance 301 - T/Th 1:00 - 2:30
6. Health Science 205 - F 1:00 - 4:00

Notes: Student is enrolled in a Health Science scholarship. She must maintain an average above 70% in Health-related courses.

Note #23

If I had to describe my perfect guy, let's see... he'd have to be kind to others, funny. He'd dress nice-- not super fancy, but clean! Umm... I think it might be nice if he bought me nice little surprises sometimes. Nothing big, but if he got me a little something whenever he was out shopping, it'd be nice. I'd know he was thinking of me. What about you? Pass back! -Katie

Note #24

SEATING A17
ADMIT

Nolan Gardens presents
GLOWING ORB
& Kukeiha

THE FAILURE: NOT AN OPTION TOUR

SAT 8 MAY 2010 DOORS 6:40

Note #25

Blood
Trent,

I know you've probably been stressed about school lately, but that's no excuse for how you've been acting. I don't deserve all this negativity. So if you want this relationship to continue, you're going to have to take a step back and change your behavior. I care about you, but there's a limit you know? Sorry if this upsets you.
-Katie

Light
Hi baby,

Just wanted to make sure everything is okay with you. You've been really irritable lately. You know I love you, right? If something's on your mind, please talk to me. I know school's keeping you busy so if you need more time to study, or whatever... I don't know. Just worried about you.
xoxo
Katie

Note #26

Blood
CLASS SCHEDULE
student: Trent Baker

1. Math 120 - M/W 9:00 - 10:30
2. Hist. 110B - M/W 10:30 - 12:00
3. Health Science 203 - M/W 1:00 - 2:30
4. Social Psych. 350 - T/Th 10:30 - 12:00
5. English 301 - T/Th 5:30 - 7:00
6. Health Science 205 - F 1:00 - 4:00

Light
CLASS SCHEDULE
student: Trent Baker

1. Anth. 305 - T/Th 1:00 - 2:30
2. Math 115 - T/Th 2:30 - 4:00
3. Music 283 - T/Th 4:00 - 5:30
4. English 301 - T/Th 5:30 - 7:00
5. Music 111 - W 12:00 - 3:00

Note #27

Blood
to: lizardbreath@kn-mail.com
from: Collins573@kn-mail.com

You know I hate it when you're right. Ugh. Here I am, new dress, makeup's perfect... JUST IN CASE he did remember. Just in case this is all the setup to a big romantic surprise. Nothing. He wants to spend time together and pay for dinners but this... THIS he flakes on. TWO YEARS together. How long is a girl supposed to put up with this!? Hope your night's better than mine. Luv ya.

Light
Katie, I hope these flowers cheer you up. Even though we're in a rough patch right now, please know that I want you to be happy. -Trent

Note #28

Blood
eternity

The raven's cry can be heard through the rain.
But can't explain my pain.
This rain.
The dying earth, without hope of cure.
My heart not pure, no cure.
Unsure.

Light
new beginnings

A rose opening to greet the day
For the first time, it stretches
As a puppy bounds, ready to play
With the boy who brought him home.
As I watch, the breeze teases my hair
Bringing feelings of happier time
So I stand, I breathe the morning air
Then stride, confident, to the future.

Note #29

Blood
I know you told me not to talk to you for a while, but I have to know. Are you dating <player>? Is this because of him!? That guy is bad news, Katie. Do you really think he can take care of you better than me? Nobody knows you as well as I do; you know that. I'll never stop loving you.
-Trent

Light
Hey Katie...

I know I said we shouldn't talk for a while, but I needed to tell I'm sorry. I haven't been treating you the way I should have these past few months. I don't even know what happened... I guess I took you for granted. Anyway, you're a great girl and deserve better. Maybe one day we can try again--who knows what the future holds, right?
-Trent

Note #30

Blood
Katie and I have been dating for about a week. The only bad part is how she ended things with Trent, who's being a total dick to her now. I know she's having second thoughts, but it'll be okay. I'm better for her in the long run.

Light
I know I shouldn't say this after only a week, but Katie and I are madly in love. I always knew we'd be amazing together. I finally have the perfect girl--she was worth the wait for sure.

Matthew

Note #21

Oh my God! Ran into Matthew Collins today. As much as I've told myself I'm over him--I'm so totally not. He's even hotter than he was in High School (so unfair), but surprise surprise, he's taken. I guess he and Ashley hooked up. Whatever. I mostly just miss him as a friend.

Note #22

CLASS SCHEDULE
student: Matthew Collins

1. Psych 201 - M/W 9:00 - 10:30
2. Hist. 110B - M/W 10:30 - 12:00
3. Health Science 203 - M/W 1:00 - 2:30
4. Social Psych. 350 - T/Th 10:30 - 12:00
5. Music 283 - T/Th 1:00 - 2:30
6. Health Science 205 - F 1:00 - 4:00

Notes: Student is enrolled in a Health Science scholarship. He must maintain an average above 70% in Health-related courses.

Note #23

Type of girl I need:

* Easy to talk to
* Funny
* Kind
* Thoughtful - if she's out shopping buys ME something

What I should avoid:
* Shallow
* Selfish
* Spoiled

Note #24

SEATING A17
ADMIT

Nolan Gardens presents
GLOWING ORB
& Kukeiha

THE FAILURE: NOT AN OPTION TOUR

SAT 8 MAY 2010 DOORS 6:40

Note #25

Blood
Ashley,

It would be helpful if you could tell me what was wrong instead of just shutting down. I'm your boyfriend, remember? I'm not the bad guy. You have to stop lashing out at me like that--I won't put up with it. Whatever is going on, you need to get it under control.

-Matthew

Light
Hey Ashley,

Is everything okay? I've noticed you're kinda distant lately. I know when I ask you say you're fine--but you know I can tell when something's wrong. Whatever it is, I hope you tell me. I can try to help at least. I've got plenty of snuggles for you, anyway! Love you.
-Matthew

Note #26

Blood
CLASS SCHEDULE
student: Ashley Baker

1. Psych 201 - M/W 9:00 - 10:30
2. Hist. 110B - M/W 10:30 - 12:00
3. Health Science 203 - M/W 1:00 - 2:30
4. Social Psych. 350 - T/Th 10:30 - 12:00
5. Music 283 - T/Th 1:00 - 2:30
6. Health Science 205 - F 1:00 - 4:00

Light
CLASS SCHEDULE
student: Ashley Baker

1. Anth. 305 - M/W 1:00 - 2:30
2. Math 120 - M/W 2:30 - 4:00
3. Dance 301 - M/W 4:00 - 5:30
4. French 203 - M/W 5:30 - 7:00
5. Dance 226 - T 12:00 - 3:00

Note #27

Blood
to: numBrody@kn-mail.com
from: Collins573@kn-mail.com

I thought girls were big on remembering anniversaries? I had a romantic date planned and she won't even pick up her phone. She could have at least cancelled or something. I just don't know, man. This is getting old. Hope your night's better than mine.

Light
Is it dumb for a girl to send her boyfriend flowers? If it is, oh well. So I know things have been weird lately, and I'm really sorry. For what it's worth, I want to make you happy. oxxoo -Ashley

Note #28

Blood
is it gone
(play it hard 'n' heavy)

Did I wait too long? Feelings gone. All wrong. Wasted.
World has burned to gray. Don't be afraid. Change might be safe.
What I was before. I'm not sure. Is that me dimming?
All the 'now' I see leads me on. Somewhere.

Light
promise

(1st verse - just vocal no guitar)
In my mind's eye, see a brand new smile
is it you? How did you find me?
And your warm voice, tells me things have changed
Is it true? What does the future hold?

Note #29

Blood
Matthew -

Congratulations on making the biggest mistake of your life. I just have one question--did you break up with me to be with <player>? Is this all because of that bitch!? Well if you think she can make you happy, good luck. Thanks for tearing my soul in half.
-Ashley

Light
Hey Matthew...

How have you been? I know I wasn't the best girlfriend or anything--especially at the end. I said a lot of things I didn't mean, but that doesn't change anything. Mostly I just want to say I'm sorry. For how things turned out. I suck, I know, but I hope this isn't the end. Who knows what the future holds, right? -Ashley

Note #30

Blood
It's been about a week since Matthew and I started dating. So far everything's perfect with one exception--that bitch Ashley will not leave him alone. It's seriously killing my new relationship buzz. I know he's not quite sure about things yet, but it'll turn out okay. I'm way better for him.

Light
Well, after the best week of my LIFE I can say that Matthew is even more perfect than I'd imagined. Total gentleman. I am head over heels for this guy. He was more than worth the wait.

Graham

Note #31

My parents are on vacation, so I took a week off to look after the place with my sister. Gives me time to explore the Book a bit further, too.

I've noticed a police car parked in the neighborhood several nights in a row--Officer Reynolds, an old family friend. Has he figured out my secret? I can't risk the cops snooping around.

Note #32

From the desk of Dr. K

I truly think Graham and Lorelai Reynolds have a chance of reconciling. The key here is Graham has plenty of opportunities to heal the marriage. However, he wastes his energy healing other areas of his life--his job, etc. If he could hold onto this energy, he could stockpile it for his wife. I'd like Graham to recognize these healing opportunities and cherish them, rather than expending his energy elsewhere.

Note #33

SHINING LIGHT AWARD

We hereby acknowledge Officer Graham Reynolds for his fine service to our community. He is a Shining Light casting out the shadows of our city.

Reynolds is a fine example to the police force he dutifully serves.

Note #34

You're damn right I won't take this sitting down. Graham's a good cop and doesn't deserve his name being dragged through the mud. Especially not for something like shooting a fellow officer. If you made a list of things that man is capable of, that'd be the goddamn rock-bottom He's loyal to a fault, and he'd sooner take a bullet than risk hitting another uniform. You took one of my men off the street for three weeks to rot in a courtroom, and for what? Nothing.

Note #35

Blood
Jack MERRICK APPREHENDED

Following a year-long investigation, the Sheriff's Department arrested three-time convicted felon Jack Merrick late Saturday evening. "We're fortunate this arrest happened, considering minor setbacks," said Deputy Gabe Miller. "Setback" probably referring to the actions of Officer Graham Reynolds, who first entered the residence adjacent to Merrick's hideout by mistake.

Light
HERO COP RECOGNIZED

Officer Graham Reynolds will receive a well-earned commendation tomorrow at an official ceremony held at the Downtown Ballroom, during the Police Department's annual banquet. Reynolds recently conducted a year-long investigation resulting in the arrest of convicted felon Jack Merrick.

Note #36

Blood
My love,
I know how painful it is for you to always sneak around--to be my secret. You deserve so much better than that. I want to be the man you need, because you're so much more than I could have ever wished for. You deserve to know I'm as committed to this as you are, so I talked to a divorce lawyer today. Soon we can be together, for real.
Your loves keeps me going,
-Graham

Light
Our time together has been wonderful--really. It's meant the world to me. But, we both know it can't go anywhere. It's just too risky, and I have so much to lose--a family who depends on me. You're a great girl, and you deserve better than a depressed, tired old man. I hope you can understand. It's for the best.
-Graham

Note #37

Blood
THE PALACIAL
HOTEL REGISTRY

8/24
Room - 217
Henry Mason
Guests: 2
Check In: 11:43pm
Payment: Cash
Check out: 8/25

Light
FIRST MEMORIAL
GUEST ADMITTANCE

Name: Graham Reynolds
Visitor Badge: 5292609
Access: 2nd Floor, South
Visiting: Room 217
Time: 10:34pm - 11:00pm

Note #38

Blood
Reporting Officer: Graham Reynolds

At 17:00 today, I responded to a Code 3 at 302 Western. Unfortunately, Merrick had cleaned the place out. We did have brief contact with someone--possibly the suspect--who fled. While in pursuit, we saw suspect brandishing a knife and were forced to open fire. However, he escaped without a trace. Potential evidence is being analyzed at the moment, but it's unlikely to provide any leads.

Light
Reporting Officer: Graham Reynolds

At 17:00 today, I responded to a Code 3 at 302 Western. Suspect Jack Merrick's location had been identified as an old auto garage. While we searched the premises, Merrick attempted to attack one of my fellow officers. We were able to forcibly disarm and arrest the suspect. Evidence found on site has been taken to processing for analysis.

Note #39

Blood
Officer Graham Reynolds,

You have been placed under investigation for conduct not befitting an officer of the law. We have received several testimonies indicating that you have at times fraternized with civilians on duty.

Your clearance may be restricted or revoked during the course of this investigation. Your Captain will inform you of any specific limitations during this preliminary period.

David Soderberg, Internal Affairs

Light
The Police Department would like to commend Officer Graham Reynolds on his fine service, and commitment to go above and beyond the call of duty in pursuit of the public good.

Reynolds' most recent case demonstrates a keen ability to lead a team under extreme circumstances.

His heroism is a great asset to this Department and Community.

Note #40

Blood
Officer Reynolds is going through a huge divorce. He's apparently been keeping a mistress, and as soon as his wife found out, she took the kids and left him. He seemed like such a nice guy.

At the very least, it means he doesn't have time to worry about me or the Book.

Light
Life's turned around for Officer Reynolds. He solved a major case, and beyond that he and his wife have decided to reconcile their marriage. They're even planning a second honeymoon.

Needless to say, he's been far too busy to care what I might be up to.

Trent

Note #41

Got an 'interesting' Email from Trent today:

'Hey <player>. How's life with Katie? Can you even sleep at night, you pathetic bastard? Well, enjoy it while it lasts, because I'm watching you. Better keep one eye open; the next time I see your ugly face, I'm going to pound it in. You have no honor, and you don't deserve her.'

This has gone on more than long enough. I need to take care of it.

Note #42

Katie,

<player> is no good for you. He's not your type, as you've probably realized by now. I know I wasn't perfect. I was always buying things for myself and then cheeping out on dates. I get it. I just wanted you to know I'm saving all my money from now on. Really--stashing away all my spare cash. I'm saving up for our life together. Once this phase is over and you're ready to try again you'll see I'm a new man. I only buy the necessities, and save the rest for you. For us.
-Trent

Note #43

Ashwood 20 Presents
* THE EXECUTIONS
Theater 20
Admit1Gen

8:20 PM Sat 2/20/10

Note #44

GUIDANCE OFFICE

I spoke with Trent Baker today about his academic advancement. I do have concerns about this young man's insistence on a single path to success. Trent has armed himself with a singular skillset, and refuses to give anything a chance other than what he's familiar with. While it IS possible to find success this way, it takes an incredible amount of dedication and a little luck.

Note #45

Blood
PHARM FRESH
555-7476

1 PVT Generic (500mg) $20.00
1 Aglacet (325mg) $35.00

TOTAL:
$55.00

Light
THANKS FOR SHOPPING AT
FLORA'S FLOWERS

1 'Tender Hearts' Bouquet $35.00
Recipient: Katie Collins
Message: Missing your Smile!
Will Deliver: Mon. before 2:30pm

Delivery Fee $10.00
TOTAL: $45.00

Note #46

Blood
THIRD NOTICE OF RENT PAST DUE

Mr. Baker,

Our records show that we have previously contacted you on the 15th and again on the 25th regarding last month's rent.

If you fail to contact us and provide payment in five (5) business days, we will have no choice but to begin the eviction process as described in your tenant agreement.

Office hours are 9 - 5 every weekday.
-Management

Light
Mr. Baker,

After reviewing your application and the recommendation made following your interview, we are pleased to formally offer you the position.

As relocation would be necessary, we are prepared to help fund such expenses up to $5,000. If you would like to accept the position, please contact us via...

 

Note #47

Blood
I spoke with the victim, Mr. Trent Baker, approximately 2 hours after the incident occurred. He reports being forcibly pulled into the alley, beaten, and then thrown to the ground. When asked if anything was stolen, he seemed hesitant at first. After some urging victim reported "just a book." Mr. Baker would say nothing more on the subject of the significance of this item.

Light
"Please. I just want to be happy again."

Note #48

Blood
BRECRIDGE BOXING GYM

Amateur Slugathon
Weigh-ins noon to 2
Bouts start 6pm

$7.50 per Guest

Enjoy up to 32 visceral bouts in our Elimination Tournament!
$500 Prize for the champion!

Light
24-7 FITNESS

MEMBER: Trent Baker
PLAN: Buff & Tough
Group OK
PAY CYCLE: bi-annual

 

Note #49

Blood
directions to 'Party station' (Doug's)

- exit 49a
- R on East Canyon
- L on Prairie
- straight ~2 miles
- L on Bramble (no sign!)
- continue ~ half mile
- after steep grade, immediate R
- house on right (pool)

Light
STUFF THAT NEEDS DOING:

1. call restaurant
2. new shirt
3. flowers
4. gas car
5. WASH car
6. MapFind address

Note #50

Blood
There was a big accident, and Trent ended up in the Emergency Room. He's conscious, but can't remember what happened--doctors aren't optimistic. Katie went to see him at the hospital, but he had no idea who she was. Looks like this chapter is finally over.

Light
So the Trent situation ultimately worked out. He started dating someone new. Now that he has another girl to obsess over, Trent's finally leaving Katie alone.

Ashley

Note #41

Got an 'interesting' Email from Ashley today:

'Hey <player>. How's life with Matthew? Can you even sleep at night, you pathetic bitch? Well, enjoy it while it lasts, because I'm watching you. Better keep one eye open; the next time I see your ugly face, I'm going to claw it off. You're a whore, and you don't deserve him.'

I'm tired of this, and I'm tired of her trying to get back with Matthew. You lost! Get over it.

Note #42

Matthew,

<player> is no good for you. She's not your type, as you've probably realized by now. I know I wasn't perfect. I was always buying things for myself and making you pay for dates. I get it. I just wanted you to know I'm saving all my money from now on. Really--stashing away all my spare cash. I'm saving up for our life together. Once this phase is over and you're ready to try again you'll see I've changed. I only buy the necessities, and save the rest for the future. Our future.
-Ashley

Note #43

Ashwood 20 Presents
* THE EXECUTIONS
Theater 20
Admit1Gen

8:20 PM Sat 2/20/10

Note #44

GUIDANCE OFFICE

I spoke with Ashley Baker today about her academic advancement. I do have concerns about this young lady's insistence on a single path to success. Ashley has armed herself with a singular skillset, and refuses to give anything a chance other than what she's familiar with. While it IS possible to find success this way, it takes an incredible amount of dedication and a little luck.

Note #45

Blood
PHARM FRESH
555-7476

1 PVT Generic (500mg) $20.00
1 Aglacet (325mg) $35.00

TOTAL:
$55.00

Light
THANKS FOR SHOPPING AT
FLORA'S FLOWERS

1 'Heartthrob' Bouquet $35.00
Recipient: Matthew Collins
Message: Missing your touch!
Will Deliver: Mon. before 2:30pm

Delivery Fee $10.00
TOTAL: $45.00

Note #46

Blood
THIRD NOTICE OF RENT PAST DUE

Ms. Baker,

Our records show that we have previously contacted you on the 15th and again on the 25th regarding last month's rent.

If you fail to contact us and provide payment in five (5) business days, we will have no choice but to begin the eviction process as described in your tenant agreement.

Office hours are 9 - 5 every weekday.
-Management

Light
Ms. Baker,

After reviewing your application and the recommendation made following your interview, we are pleased to formally offer you the position.

As relocation would be necessary, we are prepared to help fund such expenses up to $5,000. If you would like to accept the position, please contact us via...


Note #47

Blood
I spoke with the victim, Ms. Ashley Baker, approximately 2 hours after the incident occurred. She reports being forcibly pulled into the alley, beaten, and then thrown to the ground. When asked if anything was stolen, she seemed hesitant at first. After some urging victim reported "just a book." Ms. Baker would say nothing more on the subject of the significance of this item.

Light
"Please. I just want to be happy again."

Note #48

Blood
DANCERS NEEDED

Interested girls please wait behind after the night's show. Johnny will see you one by one for auditions. Outfits not provided--bring your own.

Light
To: The Scholarship Selection Committee

Dear Sir / Ma'am,

I am writing to thank you for continuing to support me this year with the Tennis Scholarship Award. I hope to continue developing my athletic abilities and one day be a force for change, to promote the positive impact of sports on our youth. This grant will assist me in approaching that goal.

- Ashley Baker

Note #49

Blood
directions to Doug's party

- exit 49a
- R on East Canyon
- L on Prairie
- straight ~2 miles
- L on Bramble (no sign!)
- continue ~ half mile
- after steep grade, immediate R
- house on right (pool)

Light
DON'T FORGET

1. Get nails done (not before Thurs!)
2. pick up eyeshadow
3. Choose outfit (new shoes?)
4. buy mini-purse
5. leave practice early to SHOWER
6. Shave legs!

Note #50

Blood
There was a big accident, and Ashley ended up in the Emergency Room. She's conscious, but can't remember what happened--doctors aren't optimistic. Matthew went to see her at the hospital, but she had no idea who he was. Looks like this chapter is finally over.

Light
So the Ashley situation ultimately worked out. She started dating someone new. Now that she has another guy to obsess over, Ashley's finally leaving Matthew alone.

Merrick

Note #51

Things are out of control... Some guy attacked me today. He had a knife, and tried to take the Book. He knows its secret. But that's nothing--he said he has a Book of his own. He knows where I live, where I work... I have no idea how to fight this.

Note #52

RECORD OF JUDGEMENT

This court finds the defendant, Jack Merrick, guilty of four counts of murder, two counts aggravated assault.

However, on the charges of assault with a firearm, the court finds Mr. Merrick not guilty.

Note #53

WANTED
First-Degree Murder, Aggravated Assault

DESCRIPTION
Jack Merrick
6' 3"
Brown hair, short
Blue Eyes
Identifiable Markings include a tattoo on right arm which reads "Karma's a bitch."

Note #54

Name: Jack Merrick
Parole: DENIED

Overview: This board has once again denied Merrick's application for parole. We believe this man has a number of compulsions which he must break before he can return to society. It would represent a collapse of the justice system if such a broken individual was released. With a career starting at destruction of property and advancing to more serious convictions, we don't see such a change happening overnight.

Note #55

Blood
Warden Leek,

Prisoner RS-187, Jack Merrick, is in a great deal of distress over a stolen package. He claims it was delivered shortly before his detainment in "the hole". Upon returning to his cell, the package had apparently been taken. While we all know these things tend to happen, please speak to your staff and make sure none of them know the whereabouts of this item. I would hate for something like this to derail his progress.

-Dr. Wilson

Light
Jack Merrick RS-187
Ryall State Prison
Portland, ME 04101

Note #56

Blood
INCIDENT REPORT
Reporting CO: D. Milton

At some point during the night, Prisoner RS-187 (Jack Merrick) left his cell. He attacked and killed two guards using an improvised blade, or shiv. From the available security footage, it seems Merrick spent the next several hours unlocking specific cells, entering, and murdering a number of his fellow inmates. Merrick then escaped the facility, murdering two additional guards during his escape.

Light
INCIDENT REPORT
Reporting CO: D. Milton

During morning inspection on Thursday, staff noticed that prisoner RS-187 (Merrick) failed to present himself as required. Upon entering his cell, it was immediately apparent prisoner has escaped. However, in searching the area we found no sign of Merrick or anything that might indicate his point of exit. It's as if he simply disappeared.

Note #57

Blood
ESCAPED CON IN THE AREA

Downtown erupted last night as escaped convict Jack Merrick single-handedly robbed County Federal bank. The culprit attempted to flee by car, but police gave immediate pursuit. The chase ended in tragedy, as Merrick's car collided with 3 civilian vehicles. He escaped on foot as authorities tended to the injured. Citizens are advised to call 911 if they have any clues as to Merrick's current whereabouts.

Light
ESCAPED CON IN THE AREA

Downtown erupted last night as escaped convict Jack Merrick single-handedly robbed County Federal bank. Merrick escaped in a car parked just outside the bank with keys in its ignition. Authorities were unable to respond in time, and warn that the culprit is loose--believed to still be in the area. Citizens are advised to call 911 if they have any clues as to Merrick's whereabouts.

Note #58

Blood
ARREST REPORT

Name: Merrick, Jack
Location: 302, Western Ave.
Apprehending Officer: Graham Reynolds
Offenses: Resisting, assault of an officer, grand larceny, attempted murder, assault, (cont.)

Light
"Goddammit, this is trickier than I'd expected. Just had a run-in with Reynolds--bastard can't take a hint--and some other blues. Caught a bullet or two, but nothing this Book can't fix. Getting harder to think of ways out. Shouldn't have wasted time with that kid. Should've just taken him out."

Note #59

Blood
Willis -

About the other day--you keep that shit quiet, you understand? That son of a bitch Merrick deserved what he got. He was a monster. The kind that needs to be put down. So as far as anyone knows, he took a swing at you and didn't let up until we forced the issue. We've got a code for these things--don't forget that.

Light
MERRICK OFF THE STREET

Authorities arrested Jack Merrick today, after an extended investigation that began when Merrick escaped from prison. Strangely, he offered very little resistance during the arrest, asking only where his personal affects would be sent. This follows a crime spree the likes of which this city has never seen, including four bank robberies, several assaults, and attempted murder.

Note #60

Blood
They beat Merrick within inches of his life. He's essentially brain-dead, and will spend the rest of his life as a corpse with a pulse. A violent end for a violent man, I suppose.

Light
The police apprehended Merrick. The official report lists a "strange book" among the items confiscated from his hideout. It should be safe in the evidence locker--safely out of his reach, anyway. I hope they throw away the key, Merrick.

Shannon

Note #61

I'm worried about my sister, Shannon. We've always been close, but she's pulling away lately. I tried to talk to her today, see how things are going, but... I could tell she didn't want to talk. I just wish I knew what was wrong so I could help. I hope she's okay.

Note #62

Graham, I need to see you tonight. I need to see you every night. I can hardly stand it when we're apart. It's difficult to breathe. It's impossible to think. My heart beats in tune to yours--you must know that. I'm falling so fast, Graham. Please call me when you get this; I'm sure I'll need to hear your voice--I always do. You're my constant light; I'm in darkness without you.

Note #63

Dear Diary,

I am so proud of my Graham. A few years ago he arrested a dangerous criminal, Jack something or other--didn't even have to use his gun! It took months, he was a big hero. Well! Turns out Jack just escaped from prison and Graham's been a wreck since--he really needs to keep his health up. But I know he's going to catch him again--this time for good. Graham is such a great policeman...

Note #64

(Shannon, you should come!)

What: Party of the Century
Where: Doug's Party Station
(1028 Bramble Rd.)
Who: You! Bring a friend if you've got boobs
Deets: Liquor wanted! We've got beer, beer, and more beer. 'Other' welcome but not included!

Note #65

Blood
Dear Diary,

Graham is so wonderful. He treats me like a princess. It's hard to believe how lonely I was before, how hopeless life seemed. But it's all different now. It feels good to "need" someone--I don't know what I'd do without Graham. Soon our lives will be perfect. I never imagined love could feel this way.

Light
Dear Diary,

Things have been going well with Graham. We've gotten to spend more time together lately, and it's nice going on real dates.

But I'm starting to feel a little bad about all this. I mean, how long is it going to last, really? He's an adult and I'm not even 20 yet. Maybe I'd be better off in a normal relationship...

-Shannon

Note #66

Blood
ADMITTED: 8/24, 10:00pm
PATIENT NAME: Shannon
DETAILS: Patient involved in a car crash. Sustained injuries in the torso, specifically ribs, as well as arm (L) and cranium. Slipping in and out of consciousness.
STATUS: Serious - Emergency Room

Light
My Dearest,

Thank you for rescuing me. With how much of a disaster life has been these last few years, I'm blessed to have you now. Your laugh cuts through the darkness I see on the streets every night, and in your eyes I can remember why it's all worth it.

You're far more important than you realize.

-Graham

Note #67

Blood
to: Shannon
Ya my guy can get anything. But u said u wanted White C., ya? That might take him a few days bcause it isn't local. But if u R willing to pay 4 it, he can get it no ?'s asked.

Light
From the Desk of Dr. K

Shannon's had a rough year, and is clearly suffering from depression. However, she is more than willing to get help, which will make all the difference in her recovery. I've prescribed some mild anti-depressants, and will be meeting with her twice a week. She's also mentioned a female role-model entering her life. I expect positive results.

Note #68

Blood
I spotted driver weaving between lanes at 23:07. She complied by pulling over as soon as I gave pursuit. Driver identified as Shannon (lic.# M026813), age 19. I issued a breath test that showed blood alcohol of 0.19. As driver is under legal age, I took her into custody and transported to the station for processing. Her vehicle was taken into holding.

Light
to: Graham
Hey baby, I just heard. :( Sry! I kno it is hard. I want to make U feel better. Meet me @ the usual spot, k? pls?

Note #69

Blood
If you hadn't met me, I'd be fine on my own, baby / Never felt so lonely, then you came along / so now what should I do / I'm strung out, addicted to you / My body aches, now that you're gone

Light
Dear Diary,

Went to a party at some Doug guy's house last night. I was planning to flake, but in the end just forced myself to go. Really glad I did! It's been a while since I've just hung out with people my age. Was just really nice--relaxing. Even met a nice guy or two, heheh.

Feeling good about things for the first time in a while.

Note #70

Blood
I got a letter...

<player> -
I owe you an explanation, at least. Life's been hard for me. For a while, actually. I'm broken. Whatever normal people have that lets them shrug off the cynicism and the madness, I don't.

I've looked for an answer, but it's not out there. Or I'm too tired to keep looking, I don't know. Soon it won't matter. Please remember me as the little girl who snuck into your room after nightmares--not the disgusting mess I am now.

Goodbye.
- Shannon

Light
I got a letter...

Hey bro,
I know I've been preoccupied with my own mess lately. Kind of a crappy sister, right? I didn't even get you a birthday present.

This isn't much, but I want you to know you really are the best brother in the whole world. You've always been there for me--even when I'm too stubborn to open up. You really are amazing, <player>. I'm the luckiest girl around.

-Shannon

Untitled

Note #71

The nightmares I've been having aren't random at all... those giant guardians aren't things I imagined-they're each someone from my life. Derek, Katie, Shannon... meaning I must have one too, somewhere.

...and if defeating those things altered the past, then what happens if my guardian dies? I have to find it before someone else does.

Note #72

I thought the nightmares were just a side effect of using the Book... but they're HOW I use the Book. Everything I do here matters.

Note #73

This whole time, I've been screwing around inside everyone's lives... changing them to reflect what I wanted. When I 'defeated' them, I was overcoming their desires.

Note #74

...I changed the Book before, so I should be able to do it again. Maybe there's still time. Maybe I can go back and do things differently...

Note #75

Blood
"I wish I'd gotten that promotion."

Light
"I wish I'd gotten that promotion."

Note #76

Blood (male)
"I wish Katie and I were dating."

Light (male)
"I wish Katie and I were dating."

Blood (female)
"I wish Matthew and I were dating."

Light (female)
"I wish Matthew and I were dating."

Note #77

Blood
"Officer Reynolds needs a distraction to keep him off my trail."

Light
"Officer Reynolds needs a distraction to keep him off my trail."

Note #78

Blood (male)
"Trent should just forget about Katie."

Light (male)
"Trent should just forget about Katie."

Blood (female)
"Ashley should just forget about Matthew."

Light (female)
"Ashley should just forget about Matthew."

Note #79

Blood
"Whoever that guy is, he can't EVER use his Book."

Light
"Whoever that guy is, he can't EVER use his Book."

Note #80

Ending 1
"I have the only Book."

Ending 2
"I use the Book to help others."

Ending 3
"I have to make everything perfect."

Ending 4
"I'm going to destroy this thing."

Ending 5
"I'll make sure the Book never falls into the wrong hands."

Ending 6
Get ready for an epic vacation.
Lucky numbers: 3 7 18 23 41

General notes

Note #81

IVORY TESTAMENT
The Emigration

During this age, weak-willed among our Order fell away from the God's teachings. They forsook their eternal birthright and fled the seed of Paradise, taking up settlement across the great waters.

Note #82

IVORY TESTAMENT
The First Sign

And the God said, at the time of fullness, cleanse the world with my rage. Gather forth the White Oil, the Black Cup, and the Blood of the Ten Sinners. Prepare for the ritual of Holy Assumption.

Note #83

ON MEMORY

One theory behind supposed ghost-sightings is that they are not ghosts at all, but fragments of memory. Certain locations are very sensitive to negative energy. If a strong or traumatic event takes place, its memory can "echo", and leave a sort of phantom behind.

Note #84

ON MEMORY

When one area is host to a number of traumatic events, the effect becomes stronger--potentially spilling over into other, completely separate memories. Objects related to such a location can even "carry" these vibrations from place to place, spreading negative energy from person to person over a great distance.

Note #85

ON MEMORY

The human mind is a peculiar thing, holding the ability to revise behavior, opinion, and even memory to conform to a perceived 'truth'. For example, multiple eye-witnesses to a crime may remember the suspect's features (height, weight, hair-color, etc.) entirely differently.

So, if even memory is perfectly malleable, how objective could truth ever be?

Note #86

It's come to my attention that our Order is in possession of a book, for lack of a better term, extraordinary magic. The reference I found suggests it "embodies the writer with the God's Will". Whatever that actually means, it sounds like something worth investigating. I'm hoping you might know something more about this book or its whereabouts.

Yours,
Father Vincent

Note #87

Surely a man of your stature in our Order knows something about the sacred text of which I spoke in my previous letter. I have managed to find a few more mentions of its existence, one which describes it, "Bound as if by Steel, so as to be impervious to assault from unbelievers." Ring any bells? I implore you to tell me more.

With increasing urgency,
Father Vincent

Note #88

October 3 -
Since he's in no state to help anymore, I've had to continue researching these books on my own. Yes, books plural. Every one of our sacred doctrines is written in one of these tomes, in fact. I should have figured it out from the opening invocation they all share:

"Let he who knows not the power of this text be blinded to the Will of the God."

Which explains why the truth eluded me for so long. Surely there are more...

Note #89

February 27 -
I've managed to locate a number of those books. It seems like the old witch had them shipped to Wish House, of all places. I doubt those half-wits would even know what to do with them.

Now I just ned to find an excuse to slip away and investigate. Perhaps that girl can serve a purpose, after all.

Note #90

Aprill 11 -
Today I finally held one of the books in my hands. Unfortunately, it had already been broken somehow--meaning there is a method of destroying their power after all. So much for impervious.

Eaten by rust and flaking away, it contained nothing but lost memories. My search continues, despite this setback.

Note #91

July 9, 1810
Most peculiar thing happened today. While investigating the hospital foundations, I made the acquaintance of a gentleman of color. Yet, by my recollection all of the men I brought to finish this task were bone white. Friendly, though. Smartly dressed. The very model of a free man. Should we meet again, I must ask how he came upon this remote outpost.
-Samuel Chester

Note #92

The Order's claim to worship 'local' or 'native' deities is a dubious one. A religious layperson could easily trace their belief system to a number of European, pagan, and native American traditions, with a dash of Jedeo-Christian to escape suspicion. More likely, their origins lie in a coming together of several outcast sects on 'sacred ground' to weather the Revivalist furor of early America.
-Joseph Schrieber

Note #93

"I just wanted my daughter to grow up and have a normal life. A life without all this madness--I wish that damn cult never existed."

Note #94

"I'm a horrible person. I wish I could forget about all this... go back to how she was before the illness. She could be the woman I always wanted."

Note #95

"My friend needs to return home. I love her, and the one who stole her must pay. Once she remembers, she will set everything back to the natural order."

Note #96

"October 17th:
The important lady told me my mother was asleep in Ashfield. I have a mother, too. I'm so happy. I want to see my mother."

Note #97

"I'm sick of this. I give up. I'll never be their perfect soldier. I hope at least my brother can be the son they wanted me to be."

Note #98

"That son of a bitch took everything from me. I'm going to kill him, no matter what it takes. He has to pay for what he did to my father."

Note #99

"I want the best for my Alessa--for our sacrifice to mean something. My beloved daughter will change the world."

Note #100

IVORY TESTAMENT
Days of Ending

Fear not the end of all things. For it shall come to pass that the strength of the Believers shall wane, and in these times of little faith shall the Silent Ones depart.

Lo, the Will of the God must be scattered to the ends of the Earth, so that all might come to hear. In this alone lies salvation.

Expansion Pack

Note #101

IVORY TESTAMENT
Age of Strife

They appeared among our Order, preaching the word of the God: two prophets, identical in every way and flawless in appearance. Many came to follow them for their lofty speech and their appeals to "the old ways."

However, the words of their mouths were blasphemies, and their commandments heretical. Many brothers and sisters did not realize they were being led to slaughter.

Note #102

IVORY TESTAMENT
False Prophets

The two preached of baptism by fire; our Order had grown weak, and they commanded that we bring in the harvest. Brother turned against sister, as did father against son, and daughter against mother. Those found to be unbelievers met a quick deth, without ceremony.

Some believers held strong, rebuking the prophets for their heresies. May those that were slain be exalted as saints, for their sacrifices purchased life for our Order.

Note #103

IVORY TESTAMENT
Times of Loss

As suddenly as they had come, so did the prophets leave us. Abandoned by their leaders, those who had been led astray became lost. The faithful welcomed their brothers to return, but many fell away or chose to leave this world.

Our order listed uneasily on troubled waters. The faithful prayed day and night, asking God for a message--a beacon that might guide us back to a righteous path.

Note #104

MANKIND CURSE

Though powerful, the works of Man deteriorate and waste away, slaves to impermanence. As wood rots, so steel rusts, weathered until decay removes even memory. No mortal creation, great or small, can escape this cycle.

Though all will cease to be, Man cannot accept this truth. And so, with gnashing teeth he claws desperately at the present day like a beast, unwilling to submit to the inevitable.

Note #105

NATIVE PEOPLES

Many tribes indigenous to the northeastern United States believed the raven held dominion over memory. Its appearance on battleground was attributed to souls of the fallen, entreating the spirit to rewrite the events of battle, granting victory to the defeated.

For this reason, tribal historians used raven feathers to record events, believing this allowed them to control the past and future of their people.

Note #106

Michelle's Diary: 8/17

First journal entry. (God, that sounds ridiculous) I found this thing in a book of old stuff from grade school. My friend gave it to me because I was nice to her... I was new in town and the two loners seemed like a natural fit. I was her only friend, except for a girl at her church, I guess.

So, where to start...my earliest memory is freaking out on my baby brother. Messed up, right? I just didn't know how to deal with someone else in the house. He started crying and just wouldn't stop, so I started beating on his crib. Mom rushed in and shoved me to the floor. She said I was a "horrible little bitch." ...Funny what sticks in your head, isn't it?

Note #107

Michelle's Diary: 8/19

Speaking of bad memories, my friend at school used to talk a lot about the girl from her church. Not really good stuff, either. It didn't sound like she had a very happy life - her parents were super religious. I think maybe her dad was somebody important. He expected his little girl to be perfect in every way, and if she didn't do EXACTLY what he told her, there would be consequences... Really bad ones she couldn't run away from. She had no escape at all. I mean my dad was no saint but I couldn't imagine living through that. I wonder what happened to that girl. I hope she's okay.

Note #108

Michelle's Diary: 8/21

Back when things were okay, we used to go to the park all the time. Just Mom, Dad, and me. This was before we had to worry about how screwed up everything was getting. I remember running and leaping into my dad's arms. Come to think of it, Mom did create some drama this one time. Ugh, just couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you? They got into a huge fight and drove off without realizing they'd left me behind. Yeah, that was kind of the turning point. That's when my life started breaking. Everything around me, shattering to pieces.

Note #109

Michelle's Journal: 8/26

The last time I saw Dad, he took me and my brother to the museum. He'd already moved out of the house, but I didn't realize he'd be moving out of our lives as well. I remember staring at the statues in the museum looming over me. I have no idea why, but it felt overwhelming. Like they were going to come to life and hurt me or something.

On the way out, we stopped by the gift shop and Dad bought me a green unicorn. And that's all I have left of my dad - a stupid toy. He always did crap like that. I didn't want this, Dad! I didn't want your money - I wanted you in my life. Couldn't you have given us that much?

Note #110

Michelle's Thoughts (?): 9/13

Saw kind of an odd thing today. I was in the park and noticed an old homeless woman. She was trying to cover herself with a ripped-up cardboard box, like a shelter I guess. She looked like a stray dog, wrestling with a piece of trash. It was pretty sad.

I tossed some change her way. I mean I don't just give out money all the time, but if I have a little extra it's nice to pay it forward, or whatever. I tried to talk to her, too... to be nice. But she didn't seem to hear me at all. Probably didn't even notice the money. Just kept on fussing with the box.

Note #111

Blood
Michelle's Diary: 9/18

Felt like crap today, so I made a date with the couch and watched TV all day. Needless to say, it did not improve my mood. Every channel was just mindless consumerism or death and tragedy. Do reporters get off on finding people whose lives have been destroyed and then shoving a camera in their faces? What's our fascination with other people's misery? I mean, I get it - I'm no different. Just kind of sad how we're wired.

Light

Note #112

Blood
Michelle's Musings: 9/21

Oh my god, this is hilarious. So there's this show on WLMN FM called "Truth Talkin'". It's been off the air for a while and I just found out why. I guess a guy called in cause his girlfriend was cheating on him, so the DJ tracked down the new dude and called him up. The boyfriend was supposed to show up and confront the bastard on air, but he SHOT HIM instead. ON LIVE RADIO! Can you believe it? Serves him right, if you ask me.

Light
Michelle's Musings: 9/21

"Truth Talkin'" came back to WLMN FM today! I guess the reason it went on hiatus is because somebody got shot during one of the calls. The DJ didn't set it up or anything, it's normally just one of those awkward things where someone gets put on the spot. I guess this guy was sleeping with someone else's girlfriend? It's been like a year but the DJ sounded different. I don't know how he could deal with that. Even though it was an accident... I just don't know.

Note #113

Blood
Michelle's Musings: 10/9

So Mom's been in the hospital again. Big surprise. I guess the nurses said it's pretty serious this time, though. Always gotta be the center of attention, huh Mom? i'm sure she'll drag this out for months. I know it's petty to say, but I'm so angry at her for getting sick; for taking over our lives. AGAIN. I just wanted to forget you, Mom. Is that so much to ask?

Light
Michelle's Musings: 10/9

I hate hospital visits. Seems like Mom's been dying for years now. ...But the nurse said this is petty much it. I didn't really have anything to say, and she hasn't said anything for about a week. So we both just stared, and cried, and kept breathing. Dammit. She wasn't a great mom; she pushed Dad away, she pushed me out of the house... but she did the best she could. I don't want to lose her. I don't want to miss my mom.

Note #114

Blood
Michelle's Musings: 10/12

I was going through the photo books in the garage, burning most of them. Saw a choice picture of Dad, all suited up at one of his stupid company events - my little brother next to him, like a little clone. Could see Mom in the background at the bar (of course), glaring away. All he ever cared about was his stupid career. I remember him trying to put me to bed with a training manual. Ugh! Only reason he took my brother in the divorce was so he'd have a protégé. Sorry I'm not interested in whatever the hell it is you do! If these stupid photographs are the last time I see him, that'd be fine with me.

Light
Michelle's Musings: 10/12

Called Dad today, to tell him about Mom... Wasn't really sure what to say but it was the right thing to do. I guess his business is doing well. He hasn't been dating or anything, just work work work. It's really weird. Growing up, he never said a word about his job - at home he was all about family. Until things turned, obviously. Then he started working late, locking himself in the study. Good to know he's at least turned that into something positive. He's been thinking of bringing in my brother, I guess. Make it a real family business.

Note #115

Blood
Michelle's Musings: 10/13

They called about Mom today and it made me realize something. Everything I write about in this journal actually happens. Creepy right? It made two things really obvious:

One, I write really depressing crap.
Two, I've been totally wasting this.

So I think it's time to have some fun. What do I have to lose? Life sucks, love is a sham and we're all going to freaking die - so might as well go out with a bang. What's that saying? Live fast, die young? Sounds good to me.

Laterz.

Light

Neutral
Michelle's Musings: 10/13

Well, I guess that's it... I don't know what to do now.